We want to live a 'normal' life

Right from when we were born (lets just take this lifetime for now), we have grown up watching how things are, how things should be. As we slowly grew up, as years passed by, we made an image in our minds. An image of how a normal life is or should be. Our parents, friends, society have contributed in building this image of a normal life.

So what is this normal life?

We saw, a normal life is where Fathers go to work, mothers either take care of the house or work/ do both simultaneously. we have to bring good marks in their academics, we make friends, we grow up, good job, earn money, get married, have kids, kids grow up, go to school etc etc. This is an image of how a normal life is. Yes?

If any of the above things doesn't happen, we feel, we are unlucky, nature is not fair to me, OR Why can't I have a 'normal' life?

If someone is not able to get married, if someone is not able to become parents, not getting good job, not getting promotion, bad health, physically disabled. The question comes up 'WHY ME?'. There is a desire that my life should also be 'normal' as everyone else.

This particular post is exclusively for all those who ask this question. Who think Life is unfair to them. Read on...

Now what is this normal life? Is this real or an illusion?

For a moment lets assume, you are not born yet. Infact there is not a single human being on the earth. Then God decides that you are the first one to take birth on this planet. He sends you to earth. Now, as you grow up, what will be the image of 'normal' life for you? This moment, just assume you have just taken birth on this planet. You are a small kid, and you see nothing on this planet. It's you alone.. and just empty space everywhere. Now ask yourself, what will be your image of a 'normal' life? Will you still have the same expectations, as you have now?

You feel that getting married or having kids etc. is what the world is all about.. You feel so because you know this is what happens in this world. But what if you are the 1st person on this earth, and you have absolutely no reference of how a normal life should be.

Your pain is not the desire.. your pain is that 'YOU KNOW'. And the reality is 'You THINK you know'. This image of a 'normal life' is made by you. You have made your own rules that marriage is necessary, becoming parents is necessary.. and if that doesn't happen, I am unlucky.

If at this moment, marriage was not there on this earth, if no one was able to give birth to a child, you would be happy, because you are now in level with that image of 'normal life'. You say, Ohh Good, this is what happens everywhere, there is nothing like marriage that exists, there is nothing like parents that exist, and I am not getting married.. OR I don't have kids... so what's wrong? That becomes normal for you. Isn't it? You are happy.

If due to an accident, you lost one arm... you become unhappy.. Why me? But what if on this whole planet, everyone are born with one arm only. Then? You say, 'what's wrong with me? This is how it is.. this is how it should be.'

We are not born on this planet just to get married, have kids, get a job, make money, die.. There is a higher.. and a bigger purpose why we are sent here. Above things are 'additions' in life. But it is not a must. If it happens then ok. But even if it doesn't happen, its ok! Don't lose your happiness.

Does that mean we don't get married/don't become parents at all?
I don't want you to stop trying. Keep trying by whatever possible means, to get married/become parents/get a good job etc. Consider all the available options. What I am saying is, even after trying everything, if it doesn't happen. It is OK. There is nothing to feel unlucky/unhappy/abnormal about. We are anyway not here to do these things. We are here for a bigger purpose.

Do not get stuck with these small 'irrelevant' things. Move on, with a smile. Ask yourself, don't give up. Find, what is the purpose of my life? If this is not it, then what is?