8 things to keep in mind before getting married

A human being is subject to stress, mood swings, ups and downs, physical-emotional-mental disturbances and to top it all they are completely non-robotic. By non-robotic what I mean to say is they are capable of doing anything at anytime! Getting married to a person means anticipating all the above not just in yourself and your partner but also in the family you are getting into. Be prepared that anyone can say/do anything at anytime. Humans are completely unpredictable. 

What is love really? You want to have more of that person and physically, sex is the closest you can get to that person. But what once that closeness is achieved? What remains? Love in most of the relationships cease to exist after 1-2 years of marriage. Mind is looking for love - so relationship, marriage, sex, kids, seek love in kids and the search goes on. To have sustainance in marriage, both of them need to realize that love is within and it cannot be found outside. period. Mind will only take you to different destinations, a pleasure ride in search of love, if you seek it outside. 

If you intend to spend your lifetime with someone, your communication with that person should be good. There is no alternative to this. When I talk about good communication - you need to be clear and ensure that the other person has got what you said. Most of the couples wish that the other person should understand them without words and this is never going to happen. If you intend to get married, its your responsibility that your partner understands what you said. Try to explain him/her in different ways and ensure its being understood. Yes, in true love, one glimpse is enough to understand what the other person intends to say but for that one needs to be stress-free and in the present moment - and not every moment of your life is going to be stress-free. Communication is the biggest key to a happy marriage. 'Ask' if you didn't undertand something but don't assume. Assumptions can ruin a happy relationship.

You can't spend your life with an enemy and even if you do, it is not going to be a happy life for sure. One trust is needed in both of them - he/she will not say/do anything that will harm me or is bad for me. This simple trust is a must. Actions often are misunderstood. If you plan to marry somone, you need to have this trust in him/her that they will not do/say anything that is bad for you/will harm you.

Marriage is sacrifice. There must be lots of things that you want to do/achieve in life and post marriage not everything will be fulfilled. There will be many moments where you have to compromise/sacrifice your dreams for good of the family. So, if you are one of those who is not willing to compromise/sacrifice your dreams, just don't get married, even if the family or spouse is okay with it before marriage. Because point no. 1 - humans are subject to change. And if you are one of those who is ready for sacrifice, things will be easy for you. Again, sacrifice includes not just by the wife but also the husband, as and when time demands for it.

A decision to get married to someone should not be an emotionally driven decision. Lots of things should be considered. I don't see anything wrong with girls marrying boys who earn good and boys marrying girls who look good - as long as this is not the only/first reason of marriage. Marriage means you will be spending your entire life with someone - this decision better be practical. Emotions come and go but spending life with somone is not something momentary.

I being a student of astrology would want people to do their horoscope matching before getting married. The idea is simple - we are made up of 5 elements - Fire, Water, Earth, Ether and air. Nature is made in such a way that the 5 elements co-exist with each other, they are in sync with each other. However, our prakruti's (nature) has dosha's (imbalance) - the sync of those elyments are missing in us. Therefore, its better to get married to someone who is compatible with our nature. Because in the long run, you both have to co-exist.

I do believe that the path we will be walking and the people who enter/stay/leave our life are destined. This means that marriage and life partner is also destined. Does that mean I should have no say in my marriage and leave it all to destiny? Well, if you do leave it all on to the destiny then what will happen eventually is your destiny and if you do have a choice/say in the person you wish to marry - then that is what was your destiny. 

If you ponder upon this - you have taken birth in a family. There is a chosen set of people in your life - your father, mother and so on. You have chosen to burn your karmas with them. Similarly, you have chosen to burn your remaining karma with your partner and vice-versa. 

Can your marriage partner and soulmate be different? Depends on the meaning you assign to soulmate. If you say that a soulmate is someone with whom you feel an instant connection, a spiritual connection - then yes, a soulmate and marriage partner can be different. In this sense, can you have multiple soulmates? Yes!

I wish you all the best for your marriage. Make a wise decision.